-- kupferstichkabinett. now staying in neukolln, in a two room falling apartment on the third floor. no light in the bathroom at night, pipes bandaged in foil. hans hartung, art informel and the consequences. bird confronting winter forest, national lost sock directory, bird on the other side of sticks. L 1966-9 B: magnified cut-edged photo or slide made entirely darker - white empty spaces and grey white-dotted space below - white human smear in the lower right. murkiness. showing but trying not to - hiding instinctively, colour itself dances - pigments blur, move, sustain the world as water-blurred, leaking from straight lines inwards, outwards.
-- to reappear in harlem in a red velvet dress, kind mit fischen, swelling cheeks, waiting next to two big-eyed red fish she does not look at on a plate that curves abruptly into shadow.
-- 1 august. berlin-dresden train 12.36 departure. now german countryside for the first time ever in my eyes. wheat fields, green tractors. the ticket inspector, a tall spectre of a man with white hair standing on ends, punched and stamped our ticket. this morning i woke tangled clothesless in white sheets trying to see the churchtower clock from the window but my neck would not twist far enough. but it was still early so i walked down the sixty-three steps, through the courtyard, under the scaffolding (permanent, supportive) and into the street. a bakery was open with croissants, juice, sweet brown bread and strawberry jam. and then back to collect our room-strewn belongings. all my stockings are laddered and i drank too much lovely subtle french cidre but i finished a poem, contorted my body, learnt how to count the clock, how many rings for an hour, found another place with enough air left for me to breathe.
-- 3 august. it is raining in dresden and everybody was prepared for it except me. they have umbrellas and rainjackets or at least benign facial expressions and wet limp hair.
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